


Intro to Parenting

by PepperF



Series: Tattoo AU [4]
Category: Community (TV)
Genre: F/M, I'm kind of in love with this universe, Tattoo AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2016-03-24
Packaged: 2018-05-28 18:43:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6340903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PepperF/pseuds/PepperF
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It'll be fine," said Annie, nodding firmly.</p>
<p>"I know. My mom won't care about the tattoos."</p>
<p>"No, I mean – telling her the rest."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Intro to Parenting

**Author's Note:**

> I am feeling _slightly_ mean about dragging out the Neighbours AU – but on the other hand, the mild guilt combined with the sudden lack of other writing commitments means I'll probably be writing a lot of one-shots. So, everyone wins?
> 
> Thanks as always to Bethany for editing/suggestions/entire paragraphs! I swear I'm actually turning into a lazier writer, because you're _just so good_. I'm getting spoilt! ;)

"Mom, hi. This is Annie."

Boring. Try again. Deep breath.

"Mom! How've you been? You remember Annie, you talked with her on the phone that one time, and I know all the giggling was you both trying to mess with me but _what did you say to her_?"

Okay, no, that might sound a little paranoid.

"I thought it was about time my two favorite ladies met."

Ugh, _no_. Jesus, why was this so hard?

"Jeff!"

Jeff jumped. He turned, with the intention of glaring at Annie—who had just slid into the passenger seat of his Lexus, holding a small potted hyacinth that she set down carefully in the footwell—but unfortunately, as seemed to happen whenever he looked at her lately, his heart lightened, and little bluebirds started circling around their heads. "Are you finally... What _are_ you wearing?" he asked, abruptly distracted.

Annie looked down at herself. "Clothes?"

"Yeah, but why are you all covered up? You look like a nun."

"I know, I know, but what if your mom thinks—"

Jeff leaned forward and tugged at the scarf she'd wrapped around her neck, so the ends were no longer quite level. With a reproachful look, Annie unwound the scarf, leaving it loosely draped instead. She was still buttoned up in an adorable little cardigan, one of her most straitlaced skirts, opaque tights, and flats, but now a single bud was visible, curling over her collarbone. Not that he'd expected her to wear her usual tank-and-cutoffs outfit for a Sunday visit to his mom, but somehow he hadn't expected her to look quite this prim and proper. She'd even toned down her normal winged eyeliner and vibrant lipcolor, so it didn't clash too much with the image she was trying to present.

"Happy?"

"Ecstatic," confirmed Jeff. He grinned. "I didn't even know you owned clothes like this. You look adorable."

Annie looked down. "Yeah, well, if you like this so much, you should've seen me in high school," she muttered.

Jeff wisely chose not to pursue that comment (although he was _totally_ going to ask for photographic evidence later). Instead, he took her hand and held it between both of his. "You look perfect whatever you wear. And soon you'll be able to add another Winger to your list of conquests, because my mom will love you. Almost as much as I do."

Annie's worried frown disappeared, and she smiled brilliantly. Jeff found himself smiling back, helpless against that look.

They'd been dating for just over six months, now, but the whole 'love' thing was new—or the part where they admitted it out loud, anyhow. Jeff honestly hadn't thought it would make much difference, because they had an understanding, right? But that had turned out to be wrong, stupid, pre-'I-love-you' thinking. Everything was _so much better_ (except in the way she could make him do whatever she wanted—but maybe that wasn't entirely new, either), and maybe there was something to this whole sharing-your-feelings thing, after all. 

"It'll be fine," said Annie, nodding firmly.

"I know. My mom won't care about the tattoos." Probably. Once she got to know Annie, anyhow. The way they'd connected over the phone had been a fortuitous accident, but he figured it had give Annie the advantage of making a good first impression, before they had to get past the visuals.

"No, I mean – telling her the rest."

And, just like that, Jeff's stomach locked up tight again. "Yeah," he said, through his teeth, "it'll be great!" He turned to stare out of the windshield, hands gripping the steering wheel. "She's gonna be _thrilled_."

Annie put her hand on his arm. "Jeff—"

Impulsively, he reached out an arm and wrapped it around her waist, hauling her bodily out of her seat and sideways across his lap. He buried his face in her hair and started kissing his way down her neck. "Why don't we put it off till tomorrow? Just stay home and spend today in bed?" He let his hand stray downwards, undoing her top button, and moving onto the next one. Her head tilted back, giving him more access. "I can make it worth your while."

She hummed as his hand drifted further down, smoothing over her sweater to cup her breast, gently rubbing the fuzzy material. "I'll make you a deal," she said, throatily. "If we go see your mom now, you can take me straight home afterwards and find out what Sister Annie is wearing under her habit."

He groaned—in frustration rather than happiness—and leaned his forehead against her shoulder. "You're going to make me do this, aren't you?"

"I'm not going to make you do anything. She's your mother. But really, how much longer can you lie to her? Or were you thinking you'd just send her a graduation announcement someday, and she'd overlook all the years in between?"

"I know, I know!" He rubbed anxiously at his hair, and leaned back against the headrest. "She's going to be furious."

"She'll forgive you."

"She'll be mad I didn't tell her sooner."

Annie tilted her head, and didn't argue the point. "But she'll forgive you," she repeated, instead. "The important thing is not one tiny mistake you made in the past, but that you're doing the right thing now."

"One tiny mistake? That's a pretty nice spin."

Annie huffed. "Well, what are you planning to say, then?" she demanded. "'Hi Mom, you thought I was a lawyer, well surprise, I never actually finished my bachelor’s degree, I cheated on my LSATs, and now I've quit my job before I get caught, bluh bluh bluh!' That's you," she added, acidly.

Feeling the panic rise, Jeff whined, "She is going to _disown_ me!"

And instantly her annoyance was gone, replaced by calm determination. "No she won't. Because you're going to make it right."

For a brief, selfish moment, he regretted telling Annie his deepest, darkest secret. Rather than indulgently overlooking it (the result he'd hoped for), or dumping him immediately and outing him to his boss (the result he'd feared but half expected), instead Annie had helped him to come up with a plan of how to give up the lie without entirely ruining his life. And after Jeff had owned up, in possibly the most painful meeting he'd ever experienced, Ted had agreed to speak for him before the Bar Association. While that was probably to avoid a potential PR disaster rather than out of any personal loyalty, the outcome had been that Jeff's career was now on pause, rather than sunk without a trace. And, sure, taking three or four years out to complete his undergrad would suck ass, but he'd be working from a secure base in the future, without the heavy burden of guilt and paranoia that had been slowly eating away at his self-confidence. 

But then, he wouldn't have told her all that if she hadn't opened up to him first about her own parental issues, and the situation that had led to her extreme tattoo makeover-slash-life trajectory change. And he could never regret the trust she'd shown in him. Just the memory of her matter-of-fact description—how, when she'd admitted to her Adderall addiction, instead of supporting her request to go to rehab, her parents had packed her off for three months to a girls' reform camp—made him feel fiercely protective of her, and furiously, impotently vengeful. She'd gone through withdrawal in a place that sounded more like Alcatraz than a supportive environment for troubled teens. When released, she had refused to have anything further to do with her parents, who couldn't see that they'd done anything wrong. After all, if the end result was the same, what did it matter? And they'd told everyone that she'd been away at summer camp, which sounded so much better than _rehab_. Was she such an ungrateful child that she'd complain about them protecting her reputation, her future? 

He couldn't help but feel slightly guilty for how he'd treated his own mother, who would never have behaved like that towards him. And maybe he was making too big a deal of this, because deep down he had no doubt that she'd forgive him in the end... after putting him through a massive guilt-trip, of course, but he couldn't say that he didn't deserve it.

"Okay,” he sighed. “I think I'm ready to do this."

Annie grinned and patted his shoulder. "Good boy. Just keep reminding yourself that afterwards we'll go home, I'll pour you a large scotch, and we can go straight to bed."

"That helps," admitted Jeff. He stroked her hair back and pressed an apologetic kiss to the apple of her cheek. "That definitely helps. I'm sorry for... you know. Freaking out."

"That's okay." She rubbed his arm reassuringly. "Remember, it's all fixable. Honestly, it’s not like we’re going to tell your mom that you knocked me up or something," she joked.

"I _wish_ ," said Jeff—and winced. Annie looked startled. "I mean, that would make my mom's decade, instead of, 'hey, Mom, your son is a cheat and a liar'," he explained hastily. He gave her a grin. "Wanna climb in the back and see what we can do? It might cancel out the massive disappointment."

"Yeah... although _having an entire baby_ would be an excellent diversionary tactic, maybe we should give it a bit more thought first," said Annie, drily.

"Okay." He leaned his cheek against the crown of her head, and breathed in. And then he felt his adrenaline spike for an entirely different reason, and before he lost his nerve, he added (as casually as possible while his heart was trying to escape out of his throat): "So we're putting a pin in that idea for now."

Annie stilled. He could feel her breath, hot and surprised, against his collar. "Jeff?"

"I just thought you should know—and this is not a suggestion or a request—but I'm open to negotiations. Lengthy, lengthy negotiations. Like, makes the Treaty of Versailles look like a third-grade homework assignment, kind of thing. But I'm open to them, if you want."

Annie was quiet for a long time. He could feel her heartbeat rattling in her chest—probably it was a bad idea to make his main source of support through the coming ordeal feel as nervous as him. Crap, what if she needed to get some space from him for a while? How the hell was he going to get through this on his own? _Why the hell had he brought it up?_

"Jesus, Jeff, you really know how to pick your moments," she breathed at last.

"I know. I'm an idiot, forget I said anything."

She nodded emphatically—and he was an even bigger idiot for feeling a tiny pang of disappointment.

"For now," she added.

Jeff—whose entire body had suddenly seized up—carefully un-hunched his shoulders and unclenched his fingers from the back of her sweater. "Yeah?"

"And I'm only talking negotiations for now," she warned. "Because if you think I'm having your baby while you drag your broke, ex-lawyer ass through four years of college to get the degree you should’ve gotten in the first place, you've got another think coming."

Jeff tried, he really did, but his brain had stalled on 'I'm having your baby', and couldn't seem to move on. "Mm-hm?"

"And just because I live an alternative lifestyle doesn't mean I won't insist you put a ring on it first."

"Okay, yeah, that's fair." He bit his lip hard to stop himself saying another word on the subject, and tried to think about something, _anything_ else. Like, for example, the upcoming conversation. Ugh. "Well, now I don't feel nervous about telling my mom I'm not a lawyer," he sighed.

" _Temporarily_ not a lawyer."

"Yeah. That."

They breathed for a while.

"Well, now I'm _terrified_ about meeting your mom," Annie groused.

"Sorry."

"Oh, you will be, mister. You will be."


End file.
